


Good Times Don't Come Easy

by urwelcome_forthis



Series: Never a straight line [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, canon is what i make it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-10-28 23:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20786738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urwelcome_forthis/pseuds/urwelcome_forthis
Summary: A fight that doesn't go well for Kara forces she and Lena to acknowledge the harsh realities they've been so far successfully avoiding. Set two years after To Hurt Her Like She Hurt Me.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a tiny, baby, little prologue of the next part of the series after To Hurt Her Like She Hurt Me. The next chapter should be up way later tonight or sometime tomorrow, but I didn't want to put off posting something any longer! (It motivates me to know I promised to post lol)

Their lives had been quiet (for them anyways), for a solid six months, and it made Lena feel a couple of conflicting emotions all at once. 

Contentment – she was content with the fall off in assassination attempts there had been on her life since Lex had died, and her mother seemed more or less happy to have at least one living child. There were still those who tried to take her hostage for ransom or use her as a placeholder for the rage they still held against Lex (for which, she could not blame them), but her security was the best in the world, and her girlfriend was Supergirl. She spent a good deal less time worried about what fresh hell the day would bring and more time worried about LCorp or her work at the DEO. 

Happiness – she was, perhaps for the first time in her entire life, truly happy. A few months ago, she and Kara had made the choice to move into a new apartment together. Their relationship was _good_ despite how they had briefly fallen out those years ago. They both worked erratic hours, (Kara more than Lena, now that Lena actually wanted to go home), and had to work hard sometimes to ensure they made the time for each other, but things were going well. 

Uneasiness – this was, perhaps the only truly unsettling emotion she felt regularly lately. Everything else was going well, she was happy, she was, for lack of a better word, “safe,” but still something was bothering her. It was the plain fact that it had been six months since anything truly bad had happened. National City still had its disruptions, sure, but nothing that couldn’t be handled in a day. 

There had been no more invasions, no more true attempts to kill Supergirl, no more near misses on the entirety of humanity that required sacrifices neither she nor Kara were sure they were readily able to give any longer. 

And that fact, that it had been so long, and that they had been allowed to be so happy, rattled Lena to her core. She knew from experience happiness and contentment only existed until something much larger and much more all-encompassing could come and rip them away. She was just waiting with bated breath for when that day would come.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a big total chapter but decided to split it in two for the drama of it all. They'll both be pretty short - this one longer than the next.

It came on a nondescript Tuesday. 

Lena and Kara had gone to breakfast that morning and now she was sitting in her office going over the information she needed to know for her upcoming meeting with her lawyers. She was in the middle of attempting to acquire a smaller company based in New York that focused on the research and development of merged alien/human tech, hoping she could use their scientists and proprietary technology to deepen LCorps reach into that market. 

As she flipped through the charts and papers detailing the potential merger, she felt her phone buzz from where it sat in her pocket. Pulling it out she smiled to herself when Kara’s name flashed on the screen. 

“Hey darling.” She answered, and in the background, she could hear the fast-moving air that indicated Kara was flying. 

“Hey, just wanted to call and tell you I may be late for lunch. We’ve got these guys who are trying to do something weird at an old Cadmus site. It’s been cleared out for years and watched by the DEO drones so no idea what they’re up to, but they seem to be armed to the teeth, so yeah, may take a bit.” Kara’s voice is light and breezy, letting Lena relax. It didn’t seem like she viewed these foes as any true test, just a slight hiccup in her normal day. 

“Ok love. Be careful, you never know if my mother or her little asshole minions hid something even the DEO couldn’t find. Is J’onn with you?” She cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continued to look at the paperwork in front of her. 

After a particularly brutal fight last year where Kara had run off halfcocked without waiting for more information, she had promised Lena that if they didn’t know the full details of the situation and it was a little more unknown than even Alex was comfortable with, she would be sure to bring backup with her. (Backup that could keep up with her, that is.) 

Kara was silent for a beat too long and Lena set her papers down. 

“Kara Danvers you answer me right now.” She affected an authoritative tone in her voice and heard Kara sigh, ever so slightly. 

“Lena its fine. They’re all humans and bullets don’t hurt me. Alex and her team are in their cars following right behind.” Kara was laying it all out like she hadn’t told her these men were poking around a defunct Cadmus site only moments ago and Lena took a deep breath to ensure she didn’t snap at her girlfriend. 

“Supergirl,” she started in a serious tone, hoping Kara would notice the abrupt name change, “this is the part where you swear to me you will be careful and that you aren’t rushing into something _recklessly_.” She let the word hang in the air and waited for Kara’s response. 

“I promise Lena. No recklessness here. Just good old fashioned superheroing. I’m here though, and I’ve got to go. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

She heard the line disconnect, and immediately she called Alex on the secure DEO line she wasn’t supposed to have. 

“Lena, you have got to stop calling this number.” Alex’s voice was tight, which Lena noticed immediately. 

“I’ll stop calling this line when your sister stops acting like a dumbass.” She answered in a clipped tone before letting loose a deep sigh. 

“Yeah don’t think I don’t notice how she’s my sister when you’re pissed at her but when I’m mad, she’s _your_ girlfriend who I’m not allowed to yell at.” Alex huffed before releasing a sigh of her own. 

“Have them patch me through to the live feed Alex.” Lena stood, walking over to lock her office door so she wouldn’t be disrupted. 

“No fucking way Lena. That goes against like, a thousand protocols.” 

Lena rolled her eyes. 

“Fine. I’ll let myself in and you and J’onn can bitch at me about it later.” She wasn’t in the mood to play games; she could tell by Alex’s voice when she had answered the phone there was more to this than Kara was telling her. She wasn’t going to be left out of the loop. 

“Jesus Christ fine. I’ve got to go though, we’re almost there.” 

“Thank you, Alex.” 

The line clicked dead for a second time and she pulled out her government issued laptop from the safe she kept it stored in. 

Settling down on the couch she opened it and waited until she was patched in by whomever at the DEO Alex had sent the orders to. 

The screen flickered to life and showed a partially submerged bunker. Lena wasn’t familiar with it, Cadmus had had a great deal of spaces hidden across the country, mostly concentrated near Metropolis and National City. This one at least looked deserted, she knew the DEO had cleared most, if not all of them out by now, but it was odd that a group of humans knew where to even locate the bunker, and that oddity made her nervous. 

She watched as the feed jostled from the footsteps taken by its bearer as they moved closer towards the bunker. The assailants must be inside – she had no visual on Kara, could see no sign she was there. 

As they breached the perimeter of the building she sat still, her heart thudding in her chest. Her days were stressful, there was no doubt in that, she had many near-death experiences, foiled terrorist attacks, and was almost always the smartest person in any given room which led to some dangerous lashing out by those who were incredibly insecure. 

But she did not, as part of her job statement, have to rush into buildings where an unknown threat could be waiting around any corner. She was, at this moment, distinctly glad for that. 

She watched as the agents entered the building, moving down a darkened hallway to a room where a faint glow was being emitted.  
She felt reassured when they entered and saw Supergirl, standing between the agents and a group of what looked like six men dressed in dark fatigues. 

“See? I told you my backup would be here soon.” Kara said, her voice cocky and full of the type of authority that only a superbeing could have with so many guns trained on their person. 

Lena smiled despite herself. 

“And we told you, we don’t care if we make it out of here, dead or alive.” A masked man snarled back at Kara and the camera shifted as the person wearing it took up a flanking position on Supergirl’s right side. 

“Ok, well that’s kind of dumb. There’s nothing here? And I’m not really the kind that kills run of the mill idiots.” Kara shrugged but Lena could hear the puzzlement in her voice. 

“Well we’re the kind that kill alien assholes like you.” The man spoke again, before firing his weapon at Kara. 

Lena watched as Kara lifted her hand to catch the bullet, and then her eyes widened in horror as she saw a cloud of blood explode when it went through said hand and into Kara’s chest. 

“Fire!” She heard Alex yell, and everything descended into chaos.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was up and moving the moment the feed cut off, grabbing her purse and phone and sprinting out of the door. 

She had destroyed the synthetic kryptonite she had made, and so had the DEO. They had also worked to destroy the caches they had found at any and all Cadmus facilities. As she ran past her secretary’s desk and into the elevator she tried, as hard as she could, to think through if there was anything else that could have hurt Kara that way. 

Unfortunately, all she could think about was the image of shock on Kara’s face as a bullet pierced her skin and made its way into her chest cavity. 

The way she had crumpled would never leave Lena’s mind; she was absolutely sure of that. Neither would the sight of blood, red and flowing, covering the upper portions of her suit. 

She arrived at the DEO in a haze, walking straight to the control room. No one stopped her, they all knew exactly why she was there. She took a seat in an empty chair and waited quietly, hoping Alex already had Kara loaded into a van and on her way there. 

A faceless agent must have sensed her thoughts, because the woman laid a light touch on Lena’s hand telling her they were 3 minutes away. She nodded numbly. 

This type of waiting sometimes came with Kara’s job. Sometimes a foe was stronger than Kara anticipated, and she would have to spend some more time under her sun lamps than normal. Sometimes, someone from off planet would come prepared with a type of tech that could hurt Kara momentarily, and Kara would need something more than sun lamps, she would need tests run and blood drawn and whatever else Alex thought necessary. 

She was always fine though, in the end. Lena didn’t even rush to the DEO anymore when it happened, usually trusting Kara when she told her it was no big deal, she would heal up “in like two seconds.” They would get dinner, and if Lena was slightly more affectionate that night, Kara never said anything. 

But a bullet to the chest – a bullet that actually went into her body like it would anyone else’s – that was a different situation altogether. 

She felt her teeth worrying her lip as she sat still. Three minutes stretched on into what felt like an hour, but suddenly the doors behind her burst open. 

She was up and out of her seat in record time making a line straight for the stretcher they had Kara laid out on, Alex in the lead. 

She fell in step with the group, taking up the other side of the rolling bed, making quick eye contract with Alex who nodded at her. They moved fast through a set of double doors into a room filled with medical equipment. 

Lena allowed herself to glance down at Kara. Her head was lolled to the side, a mask pumping oxygen into her lungs. The blood on her chest was dried, a patch of bandages acting like a makeshift tourniquet tied around her chest, stained bright with freshly seeping liquid. 

Lena swallowed audibly but kept her footing. She could help if needed, but not if she lost herself in the fear and desperation crawling up her throat. 

“Kryptonite?” She asked Alex quietly but firmly, watching as the woman nodded once, jaw set. 

“It missed her heart. But not by much.” Alex’s words were clipped, methodical, with what she had to do, how close Kara had come to having a bullet made of Kryptonite lodge in her heart and end its beating. 

They both watched Kara’s shallow breaths as the surgical unit moved quickly to prepare the room. It was only a few moments before an apologetic nurse ushered them both out in the hall, shutting the door softly behind them. 

Alex crossed her arms and leaned against the wall before sliding down to sit on the floor. Lena joined her there, taking a moment before she wrapped a careful arm around the other woman’s shoulder. 

“She’ll be ok Alex.” She whispered, knowing that now that Kara was under the care of the DEO, should would, in fact be fine. 

“I know. It’s was too close this time though. They shouldn’t have even fucking had that shit. She shouldn’t have flown out of here without waiting.” Alex groaned and leaned her head forward to rest on her crossed arms. 

Lena bristled at the words slightly – Alex was right, Kara had a penchant for flying off into whatever danger there was, no regards for her safety. Her invulnerability made her feel just that – invulnerable. But the truth was, the people who wanted to kill her could find a way if they knew who to ask. And today, those people had obviously asked the right people. 

“Where did they even get it?” She asked as she pushed aside her annoyance at the truth in Alex’s words. She would wait to be annoyed at Kara when there wasn’t a green bullet sitting precariously close to her heart. 

“We don’t know yet. The other bullets in their guns were that synthetic stuff though, so we’re guessing we didn’t fully clean out whatever stores Cadmus had.” 

Lena nodded, falling into silence next to Alex as they waited. 

She knew Alex would now spend all of her time trying to find the synthetic stores hidden from the DEO. She would even visit her mother if she needed to, in order to help. Lillian was more amicable these days, perhaps she would extend that friendliness to helping Lena keep the love of her life safe. 

She somehow doubted it, but for Kara she would try anything.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short and finally gets into what I want to get into re: Kara and Lena 
> 
> also i don't know why the note from the prologue is showing at the end of this but its driving me nuts and it wasn't intended

Kara was fine. 

They had removed the bullet, put her under strong sun lamps and her body was healing up nicely. Lena knew she must be tired, and sore, and all the things that Kara had told her came with Kryptonite poisoning, but the most important thing was that she was fine. 

It hadn’t taken much to convince Alex to let Kara come home. After a fight a year ago where Kara had to stay the night at the DEO, Lena had created and installed her own sunlamps so Kara could heal in comfort. When they had moved, so had the lamps, and they were easy enough to pull out and place over Kara’s side of the bed. 

Kara leaned on Lena in the elevator as it climbed to the top floor of their building. Lena had been quiet since they left the DEO, rattled by the day and the image of Kara hitting the ground playing in her mind over and over. 

Before they had left the DEO, Alex had pulled Lena aside and asked her to talk to Kara about flying off without backup, _again._

“She won’t listen to me. But she listened to you for the most part last time. Maybe talking to her about it again will make it stick.” Alex had whispered to Lena and Lena nodded. 

She had been planning her speech the entire car ride home, but now, with Kara’s weight fully pressed against her, all she could think about was how many millimeters close to losing Kara she had come today. 

She led Kara into the apartment, arm wrapped around her waist. Before they were together, losing Kara would have devastated her beyond words – she knew, because she had almost pushed Kara out of her life altogether once, and it was wholly unbearable.

But now? Now that they shared this life, this future, this love? Losing Kara now would ruin her beyond recognition. 

She maneuvered them both over to the couch, gently negotiating Kara down. 

“I ordered food; it should be here soon. I figured we could pull one of the sun lamps out here, so you could eat before we head to bed.” She told Kara before she made to move to the kitchen. She was stopped when Kara grabbed her hand. 

“Lena. I’m so sorry for today.” Kara told her; eyes locked on her own. Lena sighed. 

“Kara….” Lena let her love’s name hang in the air for a moment, as her eyes shifted towards the wall behind the couch. She gave up on her quest to find wine and sat heavily next to Kara instead. 

“I would never ask you to be something you aren’t. Let me start by saying that.” She looked at Kara finally, who nodded and kept silent knowing Lena had more to say. 

“I love that you’ve dedicated your life to saving others. It’s admirable, it’s a testament to your kindness and your valor, all things I love about you. But…. When you run off into things like that, it’s incredibly dangerous, not to mention selfish.” She paused and watched as Kara’s eyes fell, coming to rest on the ground. She reached out and pushed a piece of blonde hair behind Kara’s ears before she continued. 

“Forget selfish to me, selfish to Alex. What happens when we have children, Kara? They’ll expect both of us to be here for them. You can’t control an accident, I know. But you can control going in alone, half informed of the situation, unguarded.” She paused again to look at Kara, expecting her to be perhaps slightly chagrined, but instead she was met with a shocked and sad expression painting Kara’s face. 

It stopped her short. 

“Kara, what is it?” She asked, trying to rectify what she had said with the look on Kara’s face. 

“It’s…. kids Lena. You want kids?” Kara asked carefully – too carefully for Lena’s liking. 

“I – yes? You’ve said how much you love kids, I assumed you wanted them too.” Lena’s heart began to thunder in her chest – she knew Kara could hear it by the way Kara swallowed slowly. 

“Lena, I do love kids. I just don’t know if we should have them.” Kara’s eyes were filled with a sheen of tears that made Lena choke back whatever response she had to _that_ revelation. 

“Why Kara? Don’t you – don’t you want a life with me? Kids, a family?” Lena worked to keep her voice calm and collected – desperate to know the answer. Kara loved her, she knew, but did she think she wouldn’t be a good mother? 

Kara’s voice was whisper quiet when she answered. 

“It’s going to be hard enough to outlive you, Lena. I don’t know how I would handle outliving any children we had.” 

And oh – _oh_ what a thing to hear. She knew it, intellectually of course. Alex had told her once that Kara didn’t age the same way humans did, thanks to their yellow sun. Kara and Lena had themselves talked once of Kara coming to her funeral – but now it seemed much more real than a hypothetical lofted about during a fight. 

Kara would watch Lena, Alex, Eliza and everyone she knew die. If they had children, she would love them fiercely and feel the heartbreak that came when a parent outlived their child – but it would be an inevitability, not some random chance. 

“Oh Kara.” She said, as she pushed whatever she was feeling aside and instead moving closer to comfort Kara. 

“I don’t want to keep you from having a full life Lena.” Kara whispered as Lena’s arms enveloped her. Lena felt her heart stop for a moment as she realized what Kara was saying. 

“No, Kara, no. Children or no children, the life I want is with you.” She told her as she rubbed her hands up and down Kara’s back. 

“I’m so sorry Lena.” Kara choked out, and Lena knew she wasn’t apologizing for her antics earlier in the day. 

“You never have to apologize for things that aren’t your fault my love.” Lena answered resolutely. 

They sat together after that; arms wrapped around each other in silence as Lena’s mind whirled. 

She would figure something out. For Kara, she could do anything.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I got some comments about Lena turning herself into a Kryptonian and I just want to be upfront and tell you that’s not where this is heading. I mean that makes sense but it would not produce the levels of pure angst and hard choices I’m feeling like torturing myself with lol
> 
> Also feel free to come yell at me at on tumblr @urwelcomeforthis or on twitter at @catcospring

Two days later Kara was completely healed and ready to get back to defending the city as Supergirl. Fortunately for Lena however, it was a Thursday and it didn’t take much to convince Kara that maybe they could both use a long, four-day weekend instead of going back to their respective jobs. 

Kara called CatCo to tell them she was still feeling under the weather, and Lena texted Jess to let her know she would be working from home today. There may be the requisite Supergirl duties that popped up, but other than that they could spend the next few days wrapped around each other, never leaving their own home. 

“Well good morning to you too.” Lena hummed as Kara pressed a light kiss against her bare stomach as she crawled back up her body from the apex of Lena’s thighs where she had been nestled only minutes before. 

Kara smiled at her as she rested her head against Lena’s chest, and Lena brought her hand up to stroke through Kara’s hair. 

They had been… delicate with each other the past few days, both feeling a need to reaffirm their love for the other in whatever small way they could without words. 

Lena knew, from the haunted look in Kara’s eyes she sometimes caught they were both still very much thinking about the conversation they had had that night on the couch. She didn’t know how to soothe the pain Kara was feeling, the knowledge she carried on her shoulders every single day. Until she knew the words to say she knew it was best to remain silent. 

She had questions, and a lot of them, for Kara. She didn’t know if it was fair to ask them, not when Kara had already lost so much and so many. She figured she could learn enough on her own to sate her curiosity, and then she could perhaps begin to figure something anything out in order to lessen Kara’s pain. 

“What are you thinking about?” She felt Kara mumble into her chest, and she debated how truthful she should be in her response. 

“About you.” Was all she said for now and hoped it would be enough. 

Unfortunately, this time it didn’t seem it would be. 

“Ah.” Kara answered before shifting to pull herself even with Lena. She leaned on her elbow on her side taking the time to rake her eyes down Lena’s naked form before she sighed.  
“Do you want to talk about it Lena?” She asked quietly as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. 

Lena did want to talk about it was the thing, and Kara knew she did. They couldn’t avoid it forever either. 

“I just have some questions, Kara. That’s all. If you don’t want to answer them, or can’t, I understand. Like I said before, I’m happy in this life with you. Just curious.” She began, being sure to reassure Kara she had no intentions in leaving, that she was wholly dedicated to the woman next to her. 

Kara nodded a mute response to the question hanging in the air and Lena took a deep breath. 

“I know the yellow sun gives you your powers. Does it increase your lifespan as well? Or are Kryptonians beings that live long lives anyways?” She decided to start there working her way up to the most important questions living in her mind, if they even go there at all. 

Kara closed her eyes for a moment taking the time she needed before answering Lena’s questions. 

“Our life spans on Krypton were more normal. Longer than humans because we had basically eradicated diseases and had technology that allowed us to live longer, healthier lives, but most people lived to be around 120, 130 before they passed away.” 

Lena nodded. That wasn’t too far off how long humans were living now, especially as they had begun to eradicate certain cancer strains and other diseases in their entirety. 

“But the yellow sun affects me in so many weird ways, like giving me these powers and making me immune to all things that affect humans. I mean, I age obviously. So does Clark. Alex thinks it’s slowing down since I’ve reached adulthood though. We don’t know how slow or if the aging will just stop completely.” Kara sighed a quiet sigh at that, and Lena felt her heart ache. 

“So, it could be that you are just going to live longer than a normal human lifespan, or that you’ll live forever as long as there is a yellow sun.” Lena responded, simplifying what Kara had told her. 

Kara nodded; jaw clenched as she looked up towards the ceiling over their bed. 

“I don’t like to think about it. I like being Supergirl and the things I can do to help people. But all I’ve ever wanted is a normal life. What we have has gotten me pretty close. Or as close as I can get. I never wanted to be a god, or immortal or whatever.” Kara let loose a long breath through her nose, and Lena knew she was holding back anger, and sadness, the emotions that often crept in when things were so fully out of her control. 

“It isn’t fair for you. You never asked for any of this, I know.” She reassured Kara, slowly moving so she could wrap an arm around her waist.  
“Alex wanted to do more tests to find out, but I didn’t have the heart to keep going once she got her initial results in. I try and keep it upbeat and think about how lucky I am, you know, to have you all now and in this moment. But there’s always that creeping thought that one day I’m going to lose everyone I love all over again.” Kara was deathly quiet now, and Lena felt tears of her own forming in her eyes. 

Kara had lost everything once, already. She knew that in a few short decades she would stand on the precipice of having to lose everyone she had rebuilt her life with, all over again, one by one. 

It was truly and irrevocably fucked up in a way that made Lean rage with a quiet anger at the games the fates seemed to play with Kara’s life. 

“And if there was a way, to still be you, but age like a human does, or as close as possible, would you take it?” She asked only with some hesitancy. She didn’t have an answer yet for Kara, not even the inklings of one, but she didn’t want to even go down this avenue and give herself the hope unless it was something Kara wanted. 

Kara let loose a sad, low laugh. 

“Yeah Lena I would. But nothing like that exists. The things that make me human hurt me. And it would be selfish of me to figure out a way to give up my powers just so I could love you the way you deserve, with a family and everything.” She could hear Kara’s throat thick with emotion at the acknowledgement. 

It only stood to strengthen her resolve. 

“For what it’s worth Kara, you love me much more than anyone could ever deserve.” She responded before placing a long and lingering kiss on her girlfriends’ lips. 

Kara didn’t smile, but she did nod and for now that was all Lena could hope to get from her after this conversation. 

~~~~~~~

She sat waiting in the empty restaurant, her finger trailing the top of her water glass. She wished it was wine in the glass instead, but she wanted a completely clear head for the conversation she was about to initiate with Alex. 

She also didn’t want any chance this conversation could be overheard, so a quickly placed phone call to a friend allowed the two women to have lunch in an unopened restaurant preparing for its normal dinner rush. 

The door clicked open from somewhere in front of where she sat, and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. 

Alex walked up with a quirk in her brow and a smile on her face. Lena tried to return the smile; sure it came out more like a grimace, but greeted her nonetheless. 

“You’re not trying to off me are you Luthor?” Alex asked as she grabbed the seat across from Lena, a grin still plastered on her face. 

Lena rolled her eyes good naturedly. 

“Yes, and to do so I chose a well-known dinner restaurant in the busiest section of town.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm and Alex snorted. 

“You’ve got to admit this is a little strange, just the two of us alone in this place. Unless you’re going to tell me it’s actually me you’re in love with and not my sister I have a feeling this isn’t a normal conversation we’re going to have.” Alex said, always one to get right to the point. 

Lena only nodded as Alex placed an order for two fingers of scotch, her eyes tracing the back of the waiter as he walked away and out of hearing distance. 

“It’s a sensitive topic. I figured it would be best discussed over some food. And some drinks.” Lena acknowledged as the waiter came back, drink for Alex in hand and took their orders. 

“Looks like Kara is rubbing off on you.” Alex answered, her eyes honed in the way they got when she was working to figure out the means to an end. 

“She has.” Lena agreed, taking a deep breath before arriving at the topic at hand. “Kara is actually what I want to talk about.” She watched as Alex squinted her eyes at her for a moment. 

“Are you asking me for her hand in marriage or something? Because I’ll give it or whatever but it’s not really mine to give.” Alex was in full DEO agent mode now, working to figure out what Lena was up to, and Lena knew she had to arrive at the point soon if she didn’t want this conversation to turn down an old dusty road. 

“No. I mean, I would like to marry your sister one day but I certainly won’t ask for your permission to do so if I choose to propose. She and I had a rather delicate conversation recently, and I’m at a loss as to how to help, or if I even can. I thought if I had a chance at all, it would be with your help.” She watched as Alex’s brow furrowed, taking her confusion as a sign to plow on. 

“She told me you once ran tests on her, to try and understand just how much our sun affects her physiology in its entirety.” Lena reached forward and grabbed her water taking a sip and watched as Alex’s face morphed into one of resignation. 

“Ah.” Alex sighed, and ran her fingers through her short hair. “I was wondering what’s been up with her lately but I’m guessing this explains it.” 

Lena nodded and Alex pinched her nose between her thumb and finger. 

“She made me stop the tests for a reason Lena. She doesn’t want it confirmed that one day when she still looks like she’s in her twenties we’re all going to up and die on her.” Alex’s voice sounded even and monotone. 

“I know that, she and I talked about it. But my question is if you continued the tests on your own or had any inkling from the tests you _did_ run.” Lena worked to keep any hope or desperation out of her own voice. 

Alex just sighed again. 

“No. I brought it up to her – that with the cells we had we could most likely determine what her life span would be, or if she’s immortal while under the yellow sun, but she shut it down. When I told her that her aging was slowing and may stop entirely it was like watching her lose Krypton all over again. That heartbreak on her face was enough to stop my scientific curiosity in its tracks.” Alex shot her a pointed look at that and Lena felt anger bubble up in her chest. 

“This isn’t scientific curiosity Alexandra. This is me, being a scientist who is wondering if she can help her girlfriend to not _suffer._” She hissed and Alex raised her eyebrows at the use of her full name. 

“You think I don’t want to help her? Because I do. But there’s nothing I or you can do! If we lived under a red sun, she would age like us. But we live here, on fucking planet Earth, and it’s out of our control.” They were both seething now, free in the empty restaurant to let control of their faces slip. 

“But what if it wasn’t wholly out of our control, Alex? We don’t even know if we could help her because we haven’t researched it. Maybe there’s - ”

“Fuck. No Lena. Whatever you’re thinking – that we could somehow manipulate her cells or who knows where your mind has gone – we are not doing that. If something went wrong and it didn’t work, it would absolutely devastate her. We can’t do that to her.” Alex cut Lena off mid-sentence, her rage seeping out and turning into resignation at the situation. 

“I don’t fail. Especially not when it comes to something involving Kara.” Lena bit out and Alex shook her head. 

“No. Listen, I know this comes from a place of love, but it can’t happen Lena. We just – we have to focus on giving her the best of the time she has with us. That’s all we can do, ok? Beyond that, this entire line of thinking has to be shut down.” Alex’s eyes shined with a gleam on unshed tears and Lena felt her heart sink. 

“Ok, Alex.”

~~~~~~~

Lena took a deep, deep breath as her hands moved to unconsciously straighten out the jacket she was wearing as part of her suit. She had decided to do something that was probably incredibly stupid and would more than likely end in a fight between her, Kara and Alex. 

She couldn’t help but think it may also end in some kind of hope if it worked out. 

After her conversation with Alex came to an absolute dead end, she knew she would have to branch out if she was going to get any answers. 

She visited her mother rarely, but she did visit. Things between the two of them had thawed out in recent years, leaving them in a place that was unknown to Lena but not wholly unwelcome. It was more than complicated, given that Lillian knew Kara’s identity and had tried to unsuccessfully murder her girlfriend more than once. 

Since Lex’s death, however, Lillian had been trying, in a desperate sort of way, to at least attempt to overcome her prejudices and accept that Lena and Kara were in it for the long haul. Lena was the only Luthor left not in jail and not dead, and Lillian had been working hard to at least redeem whatever she could of herself so as not to be kept alone and forgotten in her jail cell. 

Today was a test as to hard far that want for redemption would stretch. 

Lena sat in the cold metal chair, waiting for guards who would deliver her mother to the room she was in. She was nervous – she was taking a risk in even admitting what she was looking to do to her mother. 

She knew that her mother posed no threat anymore. She knew that Cadmus had been effectively cleared out. (She was worried given the last few days that perhaps they were beginning to rebuild, but she was sure her mother was no part of that.) 

She also knew that her mother was one of the few people who may have the answers she was so desperately after. So, risk taking it was. 

The door behind her opened and she heard the guards key off her the handcuffs on her mothers’ wrists. She sat and waited until her mother was seated before her, the orange of her jumpsuit reflecting on the pristinely polished metal table. 

“Lena, I’m glad to see you today.” Her mother smiled warmly at her, and Lena returned a timid one of her own. 

“Before you even ask, I had nothing to do with happened to Supergirl. I swear it.” Lillian voice was hushed but serious and Lena felt her stomach unclench for a moment. 

“Thank you, Mother. That’s not why I’m here, but it’s nice to hear all the same.” Lena nodded as she tried to reassure her mother, she believed her. 

(It helped that the DEO had immediately looked into her mother and the men who had been killed at the ‘incident’ and had cleared Lillian of any wrongdoing fairly easily.) 

“Oh? So, a social visit then?” Lillian cocked a single eyebrow, as if already aware that Lena was here for more than some mother-daughter bonding time, and Lena sighed. 

“Well, yes. But also, I was wondering if you could help me with something.” Lena wavered slightly, unsure still if this was the best course of possible action, and she took a moment to compose herself before pressing on. 

“It’s about Kara.” She told her mother, whose eyes darted up to the security cameras in a quick movement. 

“It’s ok Mother, I had them disabled before I came in. They won’t hear us or see us as we talk.” Lena assured her, caught for a moment at the fact that her mother seemed reticent to reveal her daughter was dating Supergirl. 

“Good. I know more than most how valuable those close to Kara are to those who would like nothing more than an advantage against her.” Lillian said in a low voice, still wary of the conversation. 

“I know as well, trust me. Kara is valuable to me, and so is our relationship. That’s why I’m here. I know you looked into her physiology and I was wondering if you knew anything about the lifespan of her people while they live on earth?” Lena tried not to fidget as she got the information out and watched for a moment as Lillian’s eyes sparked in a knowing way. 

“Ah. I won’t lie, since you two began getting serious about each other, I wondered if we would have this conversation one day. Yes, I know some about it. Not a great deal, but if you’re here asking, I would assume I know more than Kara herself.” Lillian’s face was set in a composed and calm manner – Lena knew she had more or less accepted the relationship between Kara and herself, but also knew it was taking a lot to talk about it in the manner they were. 

“She’s lost a lot Mother. I think she’s afraid to have it confirmed that she’s going to one day lose even more.” 

Lillian sighed. 

“From what I know, she’s still aging even under our sun. It’s slower than the way you and I age, by a good deal. But she is aging. I’m not sure how long, exactly, but my guess would be at least a few hundred years before she even begins to fathom old age and retirement.” Lillian’s words are clinical, as if the two were discussing an experiment or a patient she had once had. 

Lena nodded as she felt her throat tighten somewhat. 

“So not immortal exactly, but she’ll outlive us all.” Lena tried to keep her voice even, but even she could hear the way it slightly broke at the confirmation she had been fearing. 

Lillian reached out and grasped the hand Lena had laid on the top of the table. 

“Lena, I’ll never understand your love for her, but I know you do. Have to two of you talked about this? What it means?” 

Lena stared at her Mother’s hand on her own for a moment before she cleared her throat to answer. 

“We have talked about it some. I didn’t think about it fully, I suppose. It hurts her, to think about.” 

Lillian nodded again, a thoughtful look on her face. 

“And if you’re here, it’s because you’re looking for something you can do to help her.” 

Lena met her mother’s eyes and nodded once. 

“Well, there are some….. possibilities. I would have to think more on them, but you need to prepare yourself for the fact that there may be nothing you can do, Lena.” Lillian’s voice was gentle as she squeezed Lena’s hand. 

“I know Mother. I just need to explore every avenue at least. I owe her that.” 

“I know Lena. And I owe Kara for your life ten times over.” 

Lena glanced up at that and took in the truth in her mother’s eyes. It was as close to a blessing on their relationship as she would ever receive from Lillian – but it was more than she could have imagined a few years ago.

“So, you’ll help? And not tell anyone else – this can’t get out.” Lena was dead set on ensuring she didn’t hurt Kara in this process. Only help. 

Lillian nodded. 

“I’m not in the business of hurting you anymore, Lean. I won’t discuss this with anyone but you.” 

Lena sighed and closed her eyes for a moment thankful this gamble seemed to be paying off. She was thankful this conversation had gone as well as it had – she had a feeling the next one she had planned wouldn’t be as easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lillian isn't bad in this so don't worry about it lol

**Author's Note:**

> i do not do fluff well, or really at all, so get ready for more angst lol


End file.
